Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A Modern Mentor Is a Listener, Too

By : Eilene Zimmerman

Q. You have heard that it’s important for your career development to have a mentor. What, exactly, is mentoring and how can it help you?

A. Traditionally, a mentor has been someone senior to you who helps you build skills and make connections. Although that definition generally still holds, the boundaries have changed somewhat, says Lois J. Zachary, president of Leadership Development Services in Phoenix and author of “The Mentee’s Guide: Making Mentoring Work for You.”

“The mentee or protégé has gone from being a passive learner — where the mentoring is done to you as you sit at the foot of the master — to an active learner who directs the process,” Ms. Zachary says. “It’s much more collaborative now; there is more precision and structure.”

The most common model is still the senior employee individually mentoring the junior employee. But other possibilities include reverse mentoring, in which a junior person mentors someone senior for a specific reason — maybe to teach a technical skill. Other forms are mentoring within groups or among peers.

Mentors can provide training and open the door to on-the-job experiences, says Lorraine Stomski, a senior vice president at Aon Consulting in New York who specializes in leadership education and coaching. “They also help you navigate political land mines, identify influential people at the company and provide useful information about where the business is going,” she says.

Q. What makes a good mentor, and how do you look for one?

A. People can have trouble finding an effective mentor, says Holly Tompson, a senior research analyst and executive coach at i4cp, the Institute for Corporate Productivity, a human capital research firm in St. Petersburg, Fla.

First, identify what you want to achieve through the relationship. “Once you know that, you ask yourself, ‘Who is really good at this and who do I admire in this area?’” Ms. Tompson says. “If you don’t already know, talk to your former supervisors — or others at the company you know well — and ask who they would recommend.”

Not everyone with experience or power in an organization makes a good mentor. People who are very egotistical, love to hear themselves talk or seem to have no spare time are probably not good choices, says Stephen Xavier, an executive coach and president of the Cornerstone Executive Development Group in Chapel Hill, N.C.

“Good mentors,” he says, “set goals with their protégés, ask questions, do a lot of listening and create informal situations that allow them to introduce their protégé to other, high-visibility people in the company.”

Q. What are your responsibilities as a protégé, and what can you expect of your mentor?

A. Set parameters at the start. Include when, where and how often you will meet, and whether you will take notes. And always establish confidentiality guidelines. You should also define your goals — for example, developing a skill, learning about different aspects of a business or gaining exposure to new experiences on the job, Ms. Zachary says.

Then prepare for the sessions. Set up an agenda and be ready to ask questions and to describe your work since the last session, says Debra Benton, an executive coach in Fort Collins, Colo., and author of “C.E.O. Material: How to Be a Leader in Any Organization.”

“Don’t be so in awe of your mentor that you don’t push back or question his thinking,” she says. “You need to consider his advice, but ultimately you have to decide what you want to do.”

Expect your mentor to guide you by asking questions that help you come to your own conclusions, rather than lecturing. Your mentor should also be fairly candid with you about the organization and its politics, Ms. Stomski says.

Q. Could you be involved in something that seems like mentoring, but has another purpose?

A. People often confuse coaching with mentoring. Coaching, which provides specific feedback, can be used within mentoring, Ms. Stomski says. “But mentoring is more holistic than coaching, in that it develops the whole individual — through guidance, coaching and development opportunities.”

Q. Why would people agree to spend time and energy mentoring? What’s in it for them?

A. For one thing, it’s good professional karma to help others, although there are other, more concrete benefits. Mentoring someone younger offers valuable insight into a generation of up-and-coming professionals, Ms. Tompson says. It also allows the protégé to share her own expertise — maybe teaching her mentor about a new software program or discussing concepts she recently studied in business school.

Senior people are interested in their legacy, Ms. Tompson says. “These are people who have spent decades in a particular industry and are now in a position to help shape what the future will look like, both within their organization and in the industry,” she says. “That can be a very rewarding experience.”

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